12 years ago i did 4 months in local jail for weed

they had me on 2000mg of depakote and 300mgs of seroquil

but i have 4 pills of those let (they were from the hospital the pdoc would not write the script ....he wanted to read my old files before he put me on something that strong )

i plan to take half of one tonight one of the lorazepam ..............wake up at 4 am tomorrow get a shower take a whole seroguil and lorazepam .....get in a car ride 2 hours in traffic to court get out take 2 more and be drooling so i am not freaking out and the flight or fight response is suppressed

i tried to get in to see the pdoc yesterday when i was there for the talk lady ...but he is booked out

my sister in law has some lorazepam 5 mgs tab for herself she is going to give me a few to make it tho x-mas ..........see my general doctor give her the papers from rehab asking for a complete check up on the 26 ........i thinking of asking for 2 scripts too and a referral to the hospital to check in so they can set the meds in a week instead of 3 months like this one doctor is moving at

Inpatient Care - Frederick Regional Health System, Frederick, MD

that is the one i can go too it is the closest to my family (my older brother and his wife/kid are going out of town after x-mas so best time to do no will need to worry about me or come to see me)

seroguil works great it shuts the mind down from running billion ideas a sec but it also lowers my iq and reaction times causes me to be a mouth breather (have to think about breathing ) and i get that taring cotton feeling in my feet ....but i know it works