Good for you. Don't give up ever. When I first joined I new a guy who would relapse hard every damn year. He would come crawling back to the rooms older and more beat up every time. I think this went on for ten years because it was happening before I got there. To be honest I thought he was hopeless and would never get it. I can't explain why he relapsed because I always saw him working very hard at it. Today he has 15 years sober and is a leader in AA. His life is great. Next time I go back to CA I am going to ask him if he understands why he kept relapsing. It wasn't because he quit going to meetings. He would quit going after he relapsed but not before. They taught me in treatment that relapse is a process. It doesn't just happen one day. Understanding why and doing a fourth and fifth step on it is crucial. Of course AA says resentment is the number one offender and I have heard lots of people say it was true for them when relapsing. Nursing a resentment.

Living ammends is a great thing. So many hollow promises and apologies I made. Trust doesn't happen over night. It has to slowly be rebuilt. Lots of ways to make ammends that don't involve even talking to someone. Remember first do no harm. if making an ammends helps you but hurts someone else than it is not the right way to do it.