Thanks Hooligan I think its worse now because I am feeling guilty and helpless about caring for my son and my mom! I'm torn. And I want them to have a good holiday! I wish my siblings would kick in with mom a little more!!! I should also be working more to help out but with him home now I can't. Too much all at once! I know people have it a lot worse so I don't want to whine!! Just tired and trying to cope appropriately! Thinking about all the things I could do to numb myself in the past! Won't now so that's a plus. Thank you!