Hugging pillows because I'm lame like that. I wish I had an electric blanket, 'cause then I'd wrap it around myself and pretend someone's holding me. Lately I've been needing to be held - really badly, to the point of tears. I cry because I am not loved and there's no one there to hold me. So I have to do with alternatives - like the pillows. I just wish I had someone real but I will never find love. I think it's the love I really want, more than the holding - yes. Too bad my life is cruel to me and love is the one thing I will never have. Oh well, at least I can pretend, right.