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Originally Posted by Goldcrest
Who knows why your boss would act like that.
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I've been trying to figure that out. I wonder if it was just spite or whether I upset him in some way. I decided that he did it because I took control of my own future and he didn't like that much.
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Originally Posted by Trust_in_fate
So bad boss ! You do not need to take care of him, because he is not worthy as your boss any seconds anymore.
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Well said, "bad boss!" I like that.
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Originally Posted by waterknob1234
I am so sorry. It is sad that this is the way they would treat you after 10 years of service. That was so wrong. I know you feel hurt and bewildered and I would too.
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I'm really bad at admitting when I'm hurting, I always feel like I'm over-reacting, so it is good to know I'm being reasonable.
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Originally Posted by Frankbtl
And that was touching that your coworkers were nice to you, acknowledged your situation/your leaving after.........and gave you a gift, right? They wanted you to know that you mattered/you matter so let that count too, hey?? They weren't told by management, no expectations on them.........and genuine heartfelt words and actions, hey? And that can be priceless, that says so much about you.
Alison
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Their gift was the only thing that got me out of the office with out a melt down, it was nice as I wasn't really expecting anything, other than a "decent goodbye".
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Originally Posted by Buttercup40
...you came back and asked for less responsibilities - it takes a lot of courage to admit you were struggling.
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You are right, it was really difficult admitting that I couldn't face certain aspects of my job. I'm glad I never told my boss why I was being triggered as he would probably have judged me even more harshly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gloamingone
They kind of shooed me out of the back door when no one was looking.
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Ouch, why are people so mean? I've left more than one job with out a proper send off, usually I was running away or being fired so I didn't expect or want a send off, but this time I thought they might acknowledge the good stuff I've done.
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Originally Posted by zinco14532323
That's just flippin horrible. Some people can't see past their own nose.
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You are right - HE was horrible, HIS problem not mine.
Thank you everyone, I needed to work through that without letting it me drag me down. I'm really bad at allowing myself to have feelings and when I do, I tend to blame myself for how I'm feeling.
I need to grieve for the loss of a job that was a big part of my life for 10 years and I suppose I am scared of getting stuck at depression.
I'm past denial, it has happened and now I've got to look to the future.
I've got the anger bit nailed down, I was treated badly and it is OK to be angry, just not for too long and not with myself.
Bargaining, if only I'd kept my mouth shut and pretended I was OK, if only they'd listened. In reality I know I acted to keep myself safe and that is a strength not a weakness.
All those three stages are happening simultaneously and depression is definitely in the mix too, but it is hard to know how much of that depression is "me" and how much is the "situation". This year has been one step forward, one step back and I don't want this to become three steps back or a slide into the abyss.
I guess acceptance, if and when it comes will be a lot easier if I secure a permanent job before April, if I end up unemployed then acceptance may never come. Perhaps that is why I am so worried about getting stuck at depression, I see it as a barrier in my progress to acceptance and if I can't accept then I'll never get another job.
Thank you to anyone who makes it to the end of this post, it has helped me to put thoughts into words and I feel at least I make sense to myself and I can see why I'm feeling hurt.