Mephisto have you ever tried to read any texts which might help you navigate through these strong emotions? Texts on releasing hatred/anger, or texts on forgiveness? Forgiveness is something that you pursue FOR YOU - it's not about informing the other parties that you've forgiven them , so please remember that. It's finding acceptance that something transpired in your life and that deciding that you're going to move forward and not allow it to continue to ruin your state of being. That comes with time and only when you are ready to let go of the detrimental emotions which are holding you down.

So perhaps it's quite unrealistic to expect your anger/hate to disappear overnight. So why don't you conceptualize and visualize yourself letting go of a little bit at a time. For instance if your degree of hatred/anger was 100%, try to imagine yourself easing up a bit and reducing that down to 95%, then another 5% over X amount of time, then another 5%. This way you are not becoming overwhelming trying to do too much at once and you are setting more manageable goals/objectives for yourself. You just want to lessen the 'charge' of these emotions and then keep moving in that direction until you can finally transcend these feelings and put them behind you (so you can move forward).

Can I ask you - have you ever had life experiences prior to this where you felt 'betrayed' or 'abandoned'? Feelings of jealousy/envy? The reason I ask is because sometimes things happen in our lives and on the surface level, we believe these most recent experiences to be the true cause of our reaction and the feelings that ensue - but in reality the recent events also activate or agitate unconscious emotional 'material' that we had suppressed/repressed and were carrying with us from our past experiences. So that can amplify the reaction & effects to the current circumstances/experience. In other words your reaction/emotions/ run much deeper than the present situation might warrant. Just throwing that out there.

Try to find small ways to promote relaxation and clearing your mind. This will lessen the strength of the feelings of anger/hatred. I recommend listening to classical music - even if you don't normally prefer that genre, force yourself to do it for 45 min - 1 hour anyway. Just focus on the sounds/harmonics/frequencies while you are listening and try to observe how you feel afterwards. The other recommendations about physical exercise are good to. Spend some time in nature (like going hiking). Explore self-help type reading/books. You need to feel like you are actively working to bring about a resolution rather than remaining idle and feeling 'helpless' and like a victim of your own thoughts/emotions - you know?

Hang in there, things WILL improve gradually over time and this very challenging life experience you are going through is actually going to serve to strengthen you in ways you never imagined. Keep at it friend.