I feel like I make friends and then they get to know me and they disappear. I must be a jerk. I don't think I have ever had someone try to be my friend. It seems like I'm the one always having to make the effort. I feel like maybe I'm sending off some sign that says I'm not a good friend. I really probably am just a jerk. I tend to be a bit of a loner. I think if I could I would just curl up in bed all the time with the lights off. Weird I guess that I strive to be alone in the dark sleeping. ... avoiding being alive I guess? Maybe I'm just tired.

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