Please don't allow someone else to push this fear-based dogma/ideology on you - it's damaging to the psyche & spirit. It sounds like he doesn't know any better. That is a reflection of HIS lack of awareness. True wisdom is not fear-based and does not revolve around any threats for non-compliance/conformity or for selecting the 'wrong' beliefs (or not following the 'right' cultural traditions).

When my Mom unexpectedly passed away 12+ years ago I soon found myself wanting to research, explore, and read about all matters pertaining to 'death' and the dying process. I found a lot of comfort in reading about Near-Death Experiences (NDE's) and over the years I have researched this subject matter extensively. I was going to recommend a website to you where you can read many different accounts and it also hosts a lot of summaries from various researchers who have researched this field (thanatology). But, I don't know if encouraging you to read about that is appropriate or not if you are experiencing suicide ideation. We are here to learn and to evolve (our consciousness/spirit), and we do not want to end our time here prematurely.

Please stick around Little Jay. You are loved whether you realize that right now or not. By others who relate to you on a spiritual/soul level and who empathize with what you're experiencing and going through because they (we) have been there too.

Your physical (egoic) mind is responsible for creating the fear and anxiety you are experiencing. The physical/egoic mind is a product of the physical body - your consciousness/spirit/energy exists independent of the influence of your physical/egoic mind.

"I have thoughts, but I am not my thoughts.
I have emotions, but I am not my emotions.
I have a body, but I am not my body."

This awareness can be incredibly liberating when you internalize it because it allows you to create separation from the aspect of your psyche (your physical mind) which is responsible for creating the debilitating feelings/emotions. It just takes time to foster this awareness through ongoing contemplation and introspection.

I recall you had made a thread about looking for some 'self-help' book suggestions. You mentioned that 'When Panic Attacks' text, right? Are you still planning on pursuing this and doing some important reading/exploring? I hope that you are. It's really important to expand your awareness and to continue to seek ways to strengthen and refine your state of being. Try to conceptualize what you're dealing with as a "challenge" - something you need to work your way through and learn from. You are not alone in how you feel and you can and will navigate your way through this. Then you are going to look back and understand how going through such a life experience ended up having a transformative effect on your state of being.

Next time you find yoursel feeling anxious, try listening to some classical music. Here are 2 of my favorite collections:

Vivaldi - Cello Concertos



When you listen just try to relax your mind and focus your conscious attention on the sounds/harmonics/resonances of the classical instruments. You can also focus on your breathing (inhales & exhales). This will help calm your nerves and restore some balance to the two hemispheres of your brain instead of all your conscious energy fueling one area of your brain (the one that's responsing for fueling your anxious thoughts). Give it a try and report back friend.

Hang in there - you're going to get through this period of your life and come out on top.