You bring up some excellent points. I can understand the psychological issue of needing to keep myself safe from men. I have long harbored a belief that men cannot be trust, as I have had many cheat and deceive me in the past because I would not have sex with them or for other reasons. It irritates me that men only seem to want women for their bodies. Our bodies shift and change, but with so much attention on youth and slender body image, I, with my copious curves and 30+ year frame can't seem to attract anyone but those men interested in a quick shag. I'm tired of it.
As to your latter points, I completely agree.
- J
Quote:
Originally Posted by toolman65
We want what we can have. But we want what we can't have even more.
Perhaps your attraction to unavailable men is a way to keep you safe. An unavailable romantic partner is perfect, flawless. They always do the right thing, say the right thing, etc., etc. They are a fantasy.
You describe yourself as frustrated and lonely. Why is that ? Are there zero prospects for you out there or do you push guys away because they want to be intimate?
If talking to this guy makes you happy, then so be it. You are a single woman and can engage with anyone you wish.
Recognize however, that he is actively deceiving the person he is dependant upon. The fact that you talk with him for hours and have "met" his friends makes the odds of her finding out about you that much greater.
Have you ever thought that maybe he wants to get caught?
Is he prepared to live with consequences? Are you?
If he were to show up at your door tomorrow, would you be capable of looking after his health issues, would his being a shut in bother you? What if he wanted sex before marriage?
I think that before you get further invested with him you must find out what he is feeling. If it just a friendship, then why the secrecy? If he wants more, but is incapable of being there physically, is that enough for you? Is having an emotional affair going to cure your loneliness and frustration?
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