i've been dating a man i adore but he has REAL BIG boundary issues. he has genius IQ which means he is mentally intense and he's an artist. he's currently working on a huge project and he does not want me to call him or see him for a whole month. this is because he can't work on his art and keep relations at the same time. he says it's been an issue with every relationship he's been in. wishes he could wave a magic wand and he wouldn't be this way. he says that when people invade his space during this time that it really hurts him and it sets him back creatively a whole month. he says it just drains him. during this time he also completely loses his libido. now i'm fine with that, but just in case people think it's a ruse to screw around. it's not. and he's not swanning around having a laugh. i know other people can incorporate their work and personal lives without them affecting the other too much. i know this is not normal to be that intensely affected. it's so serious for him now that if i were to call him right now we would be over. he said it wasn't because he didn't have a 'deep well of affection' for me, but that his art is VERY important to him. it's been a very serious issue in past relations and i think this has made his problem worse. so to spare both our feelings he really wants me not to call or he'll 'flip out'. that's all just a bit over the top, but my issue is that i believe him. i know he's had very serious abuse when a child at catholic shcool and he has always been a very intense and withdrawn child (genius). i think his IQ may have something to do with this. i have a friend who had a relationship with a very intelligent man and he too was over cerebral and it seriously affected their relationship. it almost borders on autism of sorts. but that's not it. i don't mind not seeing him for a month, but it's harder not talking to him. the real concern i have is why he's like this. why he has such a severe issue with boundaries. we will talk about it further, but i'll have to wait another three weeks. i need other people's perspective. i'd like to try to make this work as he has qualities i have searched for in another human my whole life and couldn't find. i just can't let that go without a fight.