I had my first panic attack when I was 9 or 10 and wish I'd gotten my GP''s notes. Her practice dissolved decades ago and the info is gone. Sad.

Would it help to take an incremental approach? Approach one of your providers and ask, May I see your notes about me? What is the procedure and cost? Then decide whether you want to receive the most recent 10 pages or dates X to Y. Or none at all. You don't even have to read them. Repeat for another provider. In situations like this I get stuck and taking little steps can help.

Good luck!