These things are not a dichotomy. It happens, at times, that there is sexual interest only, but most of the time this is not the case. As you know, sexuality is part of being a person. An integral part. There is no dichotomy between his being sexually interested in you and being interested in you as a person, because just as his sexuality is part of his humanity, so is yours. The sooner you drop this "this OR that" confusion, the better for both you and him.

If you want his arms around you, put this arms around yourself. It does not require any verbal communication, and, in general, gestures that are well thought through are more effective than verbal communications. A communication that combines verbal and non-verbal signals would probably be the very best.

You can also wait for the next time when he does that thing with your hair - when he does, lock eyes with him, take his arms and put them around you. It would not be coming out of the blue this way, and it would be more mutual - he to you and you to him.