Hi HolographicTardis, it sounds like you wanted to tell him, or might have told him if you'd had more time..........and that is so good that you're feeling like you may be able to talk to someone about how you're feeling/what's been going on for you
Real kudos to you, and you're absolutely right, it is the best move to make. Now is there anyone else you can talk to before January?? Parents, family member, doctor............?? Because the way you're feeling/what's going on for you is really important. You are really important!!
I know there might be things making it hard for you to speak about what's going on for you e.g. fear, worry about other people's reactions, not feeling comfortable letting it out, feeling it might be pointless..........?? but there will be people out there who will understand, who won't judge you, who will be able to help/support you through this.
And if for now it's hard to talk to someone in person maybe if you just started with getting advise/support from a helpline?? And there are online ones where you can chat or email........maybe as a step in telling someone........??
It can be so tough, even for the strongest people to go though things like you're going through alone, but honestly you don't have to...........we're here for you of course (!!!) and it is so good that you're talking to us, but there is real help out there too, if you could just reach out for it, just the same as you're letting us in.........?? And you deserve that help/support, you really do!!! Things can get better with help.
But if you want to talk more.........

Alison