Quote:
Originally Posted by faerie_moon_x
Well, so I know I'm doing okay because I get up everyday. I get dressed. I go to work. I know I don't work at the same level as the people around me. But, too damn bad. I do a good job for someone in my shoes. I spend time socializing wit co-workers at lunch. I get as much work done as I can. Then I go home. I make dinner. I try to help my son with his homework (he likes to fight me on it.) I play with my kids and spend time with my husband. I spend time relaxing.
The bills are paid. My kids are clean and fed and happy. Therefore, I'm doing fine.
On the meds front, really I feel my moods are a secondary problem. And with sheer will I force myself to keep moving regardless of them. I remind myself over and over again that my whole family will starve if if I fail.
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I really think you must be Superwoman to do so much for so many, despite your difficulties!
I used to be very determined and have lots of willpower. I still have some because I would do NOTHING if I didn't make myself, but I can only manage about 6 months maximum before things start to slip, like now. I never used to be lazy. I just need to try harder to squash private me and be public me more, but I'm not exactly sure how?
[deleted]
Quote:
Originally Posted by faerie_moon_x
But the cognitive problems have no meds. None. In fact, a huge complaint about bipolar meds is how they reduce your cognitive function. So it seems like I would be hurting myself more in the area I need more help in.
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This is one of my concerns with APs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by faerie_moon_x
And basically, the meds road would be for a couple reasons. Depression becomes debilitating. Mania becomes debilitating. But I know that I'm going to have to judge that on my own. I mean I went through what seems to have been a major psychotic break in my early 20s and no one cared. I hear people saying family members take them to the hospital and that blows my mind.
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What constitutes "debilitating"? Left to my own judgement, I have no idea. I'm sorry that no one looks out for you
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Originally Posted by faerie_moon_x
You'd be surprised how easy it is for people to just ignore problems if you just keep quiet about it.
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No, I really wouldn't.
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Originally Posted by faerie_moon_x
So basically, I'm my ow caregiver and struggling is just how I live.
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Me too, but do you ever wonder if struggling is all there can be? As in, is it possible for things to get easier??
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Originally Posted by faerie_moon_x
Better to struggle than lie still and die.
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I'm not always convinced.
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Originally Posted by faerie_moon_x
Plus I'm really stubborn. If my mom could still go to school with only 5% body tissue, then this is a walk in the park by comparison.
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I think that you minimise your own struggles. There isn't, nor should there be IMO, a hierarchy of illness/struggle.
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Originally Posted by faerie_moon_x
But my therapist I saw this year said she has never in 25 years of practice met someone who works as hard as me to stay healthy mentally. She did say we'll work on figuring out my diagnosis. But now I have to wait to be able to see her again.
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I agree that you work very hard, but I hope that you can see her again soon and get some support.
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Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic
You are awesome and I'm glad you're back on here---just had to say so  |
I agree! I really missed you when you were gone Faerie
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Originally Posted by faerie_moon_x
And Willow, this is what I mean: even if your illness was not the label you were given I don't think you were faking. I think a little piece of you would know. Faking = on purpose.
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Maybe...idk?
*Willow*