I know I haven't posted for awhile, but I'm feeling somewhat distressed. I'm at the point where I feel that I'm going to reveal to my therapist that I've known about his FB (or mostly his girlfriends, as his is locked). She posts all the time about him, everything they do together, pictures, how romantic he is, etc. I know that he is dating someone four years older than me (I am 28, he is 69). He's always said it's baffling that someone as young as me would have feelings for him, because he is "old enough to be my grandfather."

I've always thought that was such an odd thing for him to say, especially knowing what i know. Anyway, I also see another therapist, who is psychodynamic/Jungian, and he is encouraging me to tell my main therapist the truth, if only to explain my blowing up at him over text all those months ago and seeming angry and bitter for no reason. It would help clear things up, but at the same time, my therapist doesn't follow a lot of boundaries (ie two hour sessions, gets angry at me sometimes). He is a wild card. There is no saying WHAT might happen once I reveal I have intruded on his personal life. It wasn't hard to find, and it's not like I stalk him or even look at it all the time. mostly, when I do look, it's just to compare myself to her and make myself masochistically feel like absolute garbage. I just sit there and cry.

I figure since our therapy has been at a stalemate for so long, maybe I should just tell him. I recently divulged last session that I had been seeing the other therapist since July. He reacted totally fine with it. He said he just wanted me to be happy. I thought he would be furious with me for keeping the secret for so long. But again, this involves his PRIVATE life.

What do you guys think? Should I go for it tonight and just tell him? It's caused me so much distress knowing, because that means the blank slate has been obliterated. i feel like he deserves to know, but in doing so will destroy almost anything we've ever done. He'll hate me forever and tell me to kick rocks and get the hell out of his office, I just know it. Honesty feels so good lately, but I wonder what good will come of this.