One of the things I am most afraid of and intimidated by is the thought of presenting in front of the class. Well, my first class yesterday was full of that. The first thing i had to do was talk to the guy beside me and get the who, what, where, when and why and then introduce HIM to the class. So there I was, hiding my freaking out, talking to a complete stranger, asking about his life and other personal stuff and telling him my personal stuff and then we had to go up to the front of the class and introduce eachother to the masses. AAAhhhhh!!!! But, I did it. An hour later, we had to work in groups.........scary too, and come up with a product idea and talk about the who, what, where, when and why of that in front of the class. Well, I interacted with the group, I came up with ideas and stood at the front of the class and answered questions too!!
Geez, who knew I could handle all that. I was only on 0.5mg of clonazepam too! I still felt the anxiety but it didn't rule me yesterday. My next class was a breeze. I'm easily going to ace it. There are three presentations near the end of semester but I'm not afraid of them.
What happened to me?? What happened to scared, anxious little me??
This can't possibly last but I'm taking full advantage for now and enjoying myself. I didn't feel any of the intimidation that I usually do and expected. No one knew how old I was. They guessed I was much younger than i am which is cool.
I have a buddy in my english class. She's only 20 but is much more mature than i would expect. We hung out after class yesterday and that makes it alot easier. I don't feel the eyes of others on me when I'm walking the halls in conversation with someone.
Today, I'll be totally alone though. No one I know in today's classes but I'm not scared. I'm anxious and excited but not scared. This is very cool.
Thanks everyone for bolstering and supporting me and listening to my fears. It did help and it helped to know that I have you guys to tell about the small successes too. It sucks to accomplish something and have no one to celebrate with so I appreciate you all very much.
Thanks again.
Tina

"How bad have you got it?"
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