Whenever I think about my life it seems like a series of endless failures and disappointments; the truth is I don't think there is anything I have ever excelled at. I'm not meaning to say I don't have interests – I have many of those: Middle Eastern and Central Asian studies, writing, chess, photography, geography, raising exotic spiders and collecting insects, etc. – but that I have never succeeded in anything or accomplished anything.

In school, I failed basically every course, and in fact some schools only graduated me because "it was in everyone's best interest" that I move on, as if I was too young to understand what that meant. Extracurricular activities weren't any easier for me; I have dreadful motor skills and equally dreadful social skills. To this day I have still never succeeded in completing a degree in anything. Over a year ago I did complete truck driving school, but even then I came bottom of the class, having failed it twice.

What I really desire is to be able to come out on top for once, to no longer receive sad facial expressions combined with overused cliches like, "What matters is you tried," or, "Who cares if you failed – You tried!", but to truly be recognized as talented and admirable. My idol-nemesis, i.e., the person I wish I was and hate myself for not being, is Magnus Carlsen, the 24-year-old World Chess Champion and the highest ranked chess player in history. Fame, fortune, looks, talent, how I wish I was him instead of me.

Obviously I will never be someone as exceptional as he is, and despite recognizing this rationally, I find that it is extremely hard to accept emotionally. Never amounting to anything other than a nameless, faceless someone with no exceptional abilities and never accomplishing anything other than what most people I know already have is intensely disappointing to me.

To which I ask, how do I learn to stop feeling so disappointed in who I am?