Sounds to me like you might have to work it out within yourself? I don't see that someone, even J will be able to make you feel better as he can't very well change his circumstances?

Have you any idea how you'd like to feel about the whole thing? Can you look at it with a long view so that feeling "stupid" now is just one in a million situations and not so primarily important down through the ages? :-)

I hope you do manage to feel better soon.