I feel worthless, not good enough, that I don't deserve to be happy, sometimes that I don't even deserve to be alive. I can't seem to get over it. I think it may go back to my early childhood. My mother was critical and neglectful. When I was very young, I had recurring bladder infections and she wouldn't take me to the doctor until I got a kidney infection and ended up in the hospital. I found out after she died that she had physically abused my older sister. I don't think she abused me, but I don't remember my childhood very well at all. I know that I didn't get enough nurturing.

I was also bullied at school, which contributed to my feelings of worthlessness and not being good enough. I began to believe everyone else was better than me.

Understanding where these feelings originated doesn't seem to be enough to help me get rid of them.