I know those feelings. I want to be reckless and do things, but the gestures aren't suicidal. I know I should go to the doc or call my T, but I really don't want to. Just kind of a "I know better but I don't want to. I know I know how to take care of things and be good, but I don't care, but I do care."

I find that if I go with the voice of reason and do what I know I should do...call the T or see the doc or abstain from questionable behavior, it is the better route and tomorrow I'm happier for it. It just sucks today because I want to be bad and live on the edge of insanity. You can always do a mildly naughty behavior like eat raw cookie dough.