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SecretGarden said:
Ipse... I am so pleased that you are working to reconnect with your T. I know that you miss her and you would like to get back to seeing her.

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well after i saw her for about 2 minutes this past Wednesday to give her the list of questions i have...i feel more anxious. and i'm wondering how "motivated" she will be to actually answer and return my questions. because once I get her answers back, I'm going to call and say i want to make an appointment.

i have tried to keep the questions very simple, these questions. i even made them in format with the word: YES and NO below the question or the numbers 0 through 10 listed below, for the "on the scale of 0 to 10..." questions. so all she had to do is read the question and circle the answer.

there are just 2 questions where i ask her to write out an answer,including the last question on the list: "Seriously, why do you care about what happens to me?"

waiting for this feels like waiting for her to return my phone call.

and i'm anxious about how our therapeutic relationship will be when or if i resume fully. i fear i may have broken things or things will be broke when i get back and nothing can fix it (like humpty-dumpty falling off the wall).

I was thinking of walking into our first return session with an egg in my hand and breaking it in my hand and saying this is how i feel and question how she or anyone could ever fix the mess that is me........but i suppose I'll likely dispense with these theatrics. it would be messy to have egg all over my hand and i'd probably ruin her rugs and chair.