I, too, can relate. I sleep way too late and I have lacked self discipline as of lately. A coach would be great - and i think those are out there but would more than likely cost a lot. Sometimes I feel "stuck" - like I'm trying to do things but I'm moving so slowly, or can't find the energy to get up and do something.

What to do? Everyone is different, but I have been making lists lately. I will also set myself reminders on my phone. For example, I'll set a reminder to get ready to go to the store, and another one to leave for the store (in case I've gotten side-tracked since that first reminder).

I also push people away; I feel like I'm so unorganized and spazmo that they shouldn't have to deal with it lol.

In my case, it is making me feel like I don't like myself, but I know better than thinking that way. I'm the only one that knows "my circumstances", you know? I'll try and think of a couple reasons I do not suck - personality, intent/good will, whatever it may be.

I hope you find a way to get out of the muck. You already admitted to yourself that there is something about yourself you'd like to change and that is amazing! I think it takes a great person to keep in touch with reality like that.