My family is planning a week long trip to Yosemite this summer. I don't want to make a commitment to it, for many reasons. That's a long time to be with family, for one. I can barely deal with being around them for the holidays. It's not that I don't love them, because I do. But I wouldn't have any time to myself during that week. I have to psyche myself up to see them. Not sure how to back out of this gracefully when I have absolutely nothing planned, and I am feeling pressure from everyone to go.

Secondly, although I feel as if my depression has lifted somewhat, I still can't get out of the mindset of not wanting to make plans for the future. I can't help but still think, "what if I'm not here then?" I'm not suicidal, although I have been in the past. It's easier being around people now, but I'm still not 100% okay. I'm not really sure when I will be.