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Here is my relative's response.
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- There are no official ethical standards in the HR profession, but if HR learns something about an employee, unless it's relevant to the job or security/safety, they really shouldn't tell anyone.
- As with all professions, there are all levels of quality and competence among HR people. My general advice would be that it would be a good thing to raise pro-actively with the HR person she feels most comfortable with. I would be most concerned about security/safety (ie is there a possibility the ex-husband would come into the workplace and threaten the employee or others). So, if this isn't an issue, I would definitely make sure that's communicated.
- My suggestion is that she go through the new hire orientation and determine how comfortable she feels with the HR people she meets. During her initial employment, she can also get a sense, hopefully, of how HR is perceived and if the employees feel comfortable going to HR with any issues (and that they are treated confidentially). If either of those situations are the case (ie that she feels comfortable with the HR people she meets or she sees that HR is well regarded), then I would suggest she meet with HR and explain her situation. She should try to be a clear and unemotional as possible and stick to the facts. Basically, she wants to let HR know that she is able to handle this professionally (so I suggest, if possible, no crying!).
- If she's not comfortable with the HR people she meets and/or HR is not well regarded in the company, then I suggest she hold off and not tell them (and see if he actually does anything).
- As an HR person, the main thing that concerns me is her statement that he's known for his irrational moves. If these involve physically going to her place of employment, then she definitely needs to talk with HR and/or their building security.
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