Why don’t my parents accept that I get angry? I’m kinda a perfectionist and I guess you could say people pleasing, I don’t try to be people pleasing - its more like doing things for attention- doing things nice for others to get their attention, or at least i think i do this. But anyways I was going x-mas shopping today with my dad to buy stuff for my niece. I knew exactly what I wanted to buy for her - well not exactly, I wanted to buy her a lava lamp I didn’t know which one yet so I was looking. And my dad came around me and kept trying to suggest different lava lamps to me instead of me trying to figure out which one I wanted to get. This put a lot of pressure on me. It made me feel like he wanted me to hurry up as if what I got her didn’t matter or that my opinion didn’t matter or that it wouldn’t be good enough or that I would pick a horrible lava lamp. So of course my voice raised a little because I was pissed and wanted time to pick the right one I wanted for her. I didn’t say anything mean to him I just said that I was going to pick the lava lamp I wanted to get her. Over the course of like 10 minutes (I wanted to make sure I picked the right one) he came back like three times doing this over. As we walked out to the car after, I was still pissed, I never said anything mean to him but he got angry at me saying why do you always have to be so cranky and this like blew me over the edge. for some reason I have a hard time yelling at others I just can‘t do it, instead I just got really angry at him and angry at myself (keeping it inside) leading me to cut myself once again.

I don’t understand why he was angry at me when he was the one who was pressuring me to make a decision when I just wanted to get my niece I nice x-mas present. It made me feel like it was my fault he was angry, my fault he had to spend time waiting on me, my fault that I needed to buy an x-mas present for her in the first place. I don’t know how to deal with this feelings. I don’t know why I feel this way. Why do my parents have to act like I’m not good enough. They always put pressure on me to tell them what I have to say. My dad will always ask me a question and than say huh? really loudly like one second after even though I didn’t say anything yet and I can't stand it. He’s always asking me questions like why would you like this kind of music, why are you getting angry at me, why would you buy that for them and when he says these things he always has almost like a snotty tone to his voice like he’s better than me. I don’t know why he even asks me these questions like I don’t know why I like the music I like I just like it cause I like it and If I’m mad at him shouldn’t he know why? like seriously I’m his daughter shouldn’t he know me well enough to know what pisses me off and try to do something to avoid it so then I won’t get angry at him (I’m offended that he doesn’t know me this well) or at least handle my anger in a more adult manner rather than getting angry at me. He’s always been apart of my life and I see him every weekend so he should know me pretty well.

And my mom, she forces her opinion on me sometimes but she always asks me for my opinion on EVERYTHING she buys and she never agrees with it and she gets angry at me that I don’t feel the same way as her about things, like if she likes a shirt and she wants to get it she’ll ask me if I like the shirt I’ll say no its not my style than she’ll get angry and disappointed in me and like really I don’t know how to deal with this like how is this my fault?? I don’t get it. Why don’t my parents respect my opinions and feelings? I just try to be myself and they get angry at me for it. I always respect others opinions and feelings why can’t they do the same for me?