Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover
Hmmmm I had a thought....if you do find HR able to work with, you might comment that you are in a divorce battle & your ex has been known to write letters of defamation & you would like to be let known so that you can forward the information to your lawyer so it can be handled appropriately. (not that your lawyer would handle it......but at least this way you will be made known if anything does come there from your ex)
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This is exactly what I would write. Thanks for worldwide support!
No, my ex husband would not come to the job site and threaten me or anybody. Not his style. Defamatory letters - that is his style!
About 6 months ago I wrote an email to Maria (who is 16 already), just a few lines of praise, after she published a short story online. The story is the #1 result on Google if you search for her first and last name (there are millions of Maria's but her last name is rare enough so she has a unique first+last name combo). Maria wanted to be a teacher or a journalist from an early age. She used to write stories. It is basically her thing. So the story is about something that I personally have no clue about AT ALL - a very niche thing. But she writes well, using short sentences, vivid language, tropes, contrast - she is quite skilled. So I told her that the writing grabbed me even though I do not know the subject matter and actually find it boring, but her use of vivid terms etc. made me read the whole piece with pleasure.
And I reminded her how in elementary school she wanted to be a journalist or English teacher and how glad I was to ... etc etc
So I thought that it was good. It was not superficial praise ("good job") - I called out
specific things that I admired, and, linked her first accomplishment (first publication) to the dreams she formed during her elementary school days.
And, the email was just one paragraph long.
What do you think happened afterwards? I am sure everybody by now knows what kind of person I am dealing with and can easily predict that:
Ex H wrote to the psychologist, my attorney and me that I was...
...cyberstalking Maria.
I actually looked up cyberstalking in California code. It is a serious crime. Obviously, a paragraph of praise for Maria in the absence of a prior request not to write to her was not cyberstalking.
I then looked up defamation in California code and it fit him to a tee.
So I really like Eskie's idea about mentioning the custody battle because it is common knowledge that people do all sorts of nasty stuff when in the middle of a divorce and custody battles.
I think I will ask the recruiter to forward the message to HR, because the recruiter is super nice and we have emailed back and forth a lot and talked on the phone, too. Recruiters must be connected to HR in some way.