(((tealBumblebee)))

You could be your own therapist if you wanted to be. You have rationalized your own thinking and you already know why you are doing what you are doing. So what can I tell you? Only what you already know. Your T said you sound lonely but you don't want to be around anyone either. So maybe you are putting up your own walls to protect yourself in some way. When you figure that out with your T, you will have solved most of your problems.

I hope you stay practical and intelligent!