Well i hope this helps somewhat. I found that for me at least the push pull thing comes into play when i used to expect strong intense feelings in a relationship. I've changed my mind about what relationships are supposed to be like. You won't always feel intense feelings for someone. Sometimes you wont feel anything at all but I've realized that love involves a sober choice to commit to a relationship rather merely the intense feeling i had come to expect. So i guess im trying to say that since im not looking for a thrill any more and have come to appreciate the comfort of being with someone that i can rely i've had a more stable relationship (going on four years now). Thats not to say it isnt bumpy i still feel lonely sometimes and even crave that intense intimacy but its more manageable. Comfort is great, its stable and when intense intimate moments happen they are nice too but i dont make them the basis of the relationship anymore. I mean you cant feel all lovey dovey ALL the time and i think its unreasonable to expect that. I don't know if its the same for you so i hope this makes sense lol.