Oh guys, I don't know how to describe this.

It's not that I'm sad or longing, it's just a feeling that I am done or complete somehow. It's a feeling like everything that follows now is just a chore, a mechanical task and there's no desire to do anything.

I've got huge ideas, world-changing ideas and dreams. But, it all seems so numb.

I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to. My promoters and colleagues at university tell me I'm super-gifted and they wish they had the abilities I have. I am flattered by their compliments, but deep down I don't see that. To me, it's like they're just saying it because they perhaps notice I look down. But, I know they do really mean it.

But, it all seems so pointless somehow. What's the point of even being a billionaire? Money never made me happy. But, that's all there seems to be worth living for nowadays - making money. It's just not enough for me. It's the desire to live and do things that has gone away from me. With effort I still achieve many things. While being depressed, I still completed a master's degree, did several seminars, presentations that bowled people over, and taught two years of classes on geology for non-final year students at my university, with extremely positive feedback from them, and I was recruited for the task again due to popular demand from my superiors.

But, as great as that all is SUPPOSED to be for me, I feel pointless, worthless, empty, useless, unappealing and undeserving. I feel like there is nothing for me anymore.