No, you have depression, as you said. And depression works like that.
I was 17 when I got paralyzed because of a car accident. Despite the resulting disability and many subsequent health problems and surgeries I never got depressed at that time. Even though I was a working class individual in a wheelchair I got a degree and a professional certificate and got a job. I had great family and friends support. Then at certain point I move to the U.S. to learn English and to volunteer. I was living alone. I got a job first at an NGO. Then at an university and finally I worked for an international organization. I travelled a lot and met with high governmental officers. I got a master degree. Taking into account that I come from a poor neighborhood of a third world country I was considered an achiever and a good example. Then I got under depression. And I lost my joy, my motivation, my desire.
And nothing was important anymore.
Depression is a mental health condition that could reach everyone, the rich, the poor, the beautiful, the ugly, the tall, the short, etc.
It took a long time for me to find appropriate help. But it is possible. Now I have hope. Some days are better than others. I learn from others here. A lot.
I am sure you will find your own way.
I am sending you a hug.