"I will say this. Growing up I had a domineering mother that really did not care for my opinion. I have thought of that often and wonder if part of all of this stems from being my own person and not having to be. Ensured." quote GoneTooLong

It could be your desire to get your opinion in "in spite" of your mothers domination, or, it could also be that she trained you to be like "her". Children are very maleable that way and it is not unusual for a child to observe a parent's behavior pattern and copy it (learn it as a pattern of how to be that becomes a deep subconscious pattern of behavior). That is why the saying came about, "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree". Now when I say that I am not implying weakness in you because it isn't your fault that you were basically brainwashed into behavior patterns that you saw your mother present to you repeatedly, not just towards you, but others as well.

So why on earth would you want to keep practicing something deeply learned that is "unhealthy"? The fact that you are questioning the behavior pattern at last is finally opening a door where you can recognize how you developed it and to decide to work on discarding it and actually becoming your own person and not the replica of whatever consistent toxic practice that you learned unknowingly.