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Old Dec 21, 2014, 10:54 AM
freebird1234 freebird1234 is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: TX
Posts: 5
Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster View Post
How exactly did you manage to do that?

Do you yourself not see that it is a nonsensical phrase?

Another nonsensical phrase: " listen to each other breeding via free messenger on FB"

Was it a Freudian slip? I am just making fun of you - I realize that you meant breathing.

Reread your post. Reread it very carefully.

- he says
- he introduced
- he wants

So we know a LOT about what he thinks. What do we know about YOU?

"I need input".

My input is that he is like a puppeteer, per your description. But I think that this whole thing has been happening to you is actually terrific, because it has revealed, in a completely safe setting, something about you that would most definitely endanger you in other situations, because you let other people hold the strings. You need more independence, more of your own opinion, more of what YOU want and YOU like - those things.

No, I take it back. A puppet at least has her own face. The puppeteer holds the strings, but the puppet has her own face.

A better analogy for your role in this relationship: malleable playdough. Whatever shape he wants to form from you is OK by you. You do not have your own face or your own voice.

I would take this experience, from that whole year, to a good therapist. There is a lot of work to do for you, with the therapist, because that degree of passivity, flexibility, being highly impressionable makes you extremely vulnerable. It is like with people whose blood does not clot - they can bleed to death. You are NOT there - you DID ask for INPUT from neutral third parties and I applaud your decision to seek advice, but seeking this advice is just a baby step forward. You need professional guidance.

But reread the OP yourself - do not trust my judgment, but make your own. Reread the OP - it is short - noting the instances of "he", "we", and "I". I would be highly educational for you.

I would take the "thanks god" approach if I were you - things could have been much, much better. If someone in RL and not across the globe started telling you what needs to be done for bonding and you would have no opinion of your own, that would be much worse.
Thank you for your extended reply. I appreciate your input. This morning was exceptionally interesting as are many mornings when he awakes overseas and says he loves me then asks me to stay online with him during breakfast with his wife and family. This need to have me near him is exasperating. At night he can't sleep unless I am connected to him via Messenger and only then can he fall asleep (apparently, next to his wife). There never has been an assumption of him leaving his wife and famiily... he is perfectly happy. However, the confusion starts when we have agreed that we are soulmates and will find each other to be reincarnated in the net life. While this sounds strange to some... it is perfectly within our belief system to believe this. I have a perfectly separate life as does he... however, we've agreed to include each other into our "cirlce of love" as soulmates. We share music and thoughts, pictures daily... and even have a separate FB page for only us. I don't feel uncomfortable with a married man saying he loves me because I feel it is possible to love many people in different ways. He loves his wife and would never leave his family... how ever, is it morally repugnant to tell another person you love them? We are kindered spirits, soulmates ... bonding in his life. I'd love to hear your input. There is no delusion on my part in having him leave his wife...I do't want him in this life.. however, the need to stay connected to him is strong and is it really that wrong?