Last night was just awful. I was hypomanic all day yesterday, so I decided to have a little rum and coke to settle down. After awhile, I laid down, but I couldn't sleep. My mind was racing and I kept sensing mental lightning and sparks. I kept laying there catatonic thinking about getting up to get some Respiradone- an antipsychotic, but never did.

After time it seems that I went into a trance but I was still fully cognizant. I was in a room with others and could see myself laying on a bed in the semi dark trying to sleep like I was. I eventually just got up and went to a desk to do some work. It was dark and there were others in the room with me trying to be quiet so that we can sleep. I wasn't creeped out by them because they are all familiar.

The place was a wreck, so I decided to move all the stuff out into the rest of the house, explaining as I go, like we have been living jammed into this dark room with shadows. Lights then came on and there was like a crowd of other guys and gals in the house with me, all of them calling out their rooms. I was talking to them like we were family. We got the room cleaned out and the house in order, and we were all congregating in the kitchen like a group chatting away. All the while, I'm fully aware of the time and what I was trying to do, sleep that is and torturing myself over NOT taking the respiradone. I pulled away from the crowd and decided to arise, drink a cup of coffee and reflect over what has transpired.

This was not a dream. It was so real. I feel so tired. I had a sense of time passing. My mind was burning the midnight oil induced by a manic state. I seldom stay awake because of mania, but this time it was different, it feels like I took Adderoll.

My mind has always been a dark place, about time we turned the lights on.
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