I do not believe it is real love as it is not reciprocated. it is infatuation, obsession. the relationship only takes place in your imagination, you have no idea what the truth of it would be. the fact that she pushed you away after you professed your love shows she lacks compassion and is judgmental. meanwhile, you say you have someone who cares deeply for you. why not give that a chance? you don't have to toss your feelings aside immediately. that is going to take time. you are not going to instantly love another. it takes time to build feelings in a relationship. that is what dating is all about. you get to know each other and feelings build. as your feelings build for her, the feelings will decrease for the other if you allow it. and the size of your penis does not matter. it is how you use it. there are tons of ways to pleasure a woman. research it if necessary.