Apparently I'm unloveable. Friday, I got into a really low and depressed place. My fiance was home, and I talked to him about it. We got into multiple discussions..........when he goes, "we're on two different outlooks". And then he left!
I told him I'm in a really low place, I need him the most right now. I'm feeling very hopeless and helpless, and just don't care about anything.
He walked out the door.

I made an attempt.


I'm still alive.

Apparently the Gods don't even want me there.

Seriously. I cannot believe this ****. I'm so exhausted from the misery. I dont expect others can fix it for me.....but just someone that supposedly 'loved' me, would have at least listened! And just been there! But no. I got left alone.

So.... I threw out a bunch of his ****- and told him to try and sue me for the rest of his stuff. I'll be pawning the rest of this **** to pay for all the time he's lived off me. (he's unemployed, hasn't worked in over a year......and he couldn't just sit and listen to my depressed thoughts to show he cared about me?)

That proved what he truly cared about, was getting a roof put over his head....not me.

Maybe another suicide attempt will finally work.....but for this week I'll work on pawning his things.