The writing here in this post is amazing. If you feel you have nothing else, just know that you have the ability to write in such a way as to evoke the rawness of emotion that exists in all of us.

That said, I think many of us can relate. We all yearn to feel what we are supposed to feel over the holidays, but when we can't we put on our masks and go into the world and pretend everything is okay. All the darkness exists under the surface and we fight to push it out because that's what we are told we must do.

But what if you embraced the darkness? What if you allowed it to wash over you and instead of fighting it, you merely let it happen. What if you let go of your expectations and instead reveled in the one emotion that you know you can feel more powerfully than anyone else?

This depression is a part of you. The more you try to rid yourself of it, the more it clings to you. Let yourself feel that sadness when it comes over you. Give yourself permission to grieve for that which you never had and in that grief you will learn many truths about yourself.