Hmm, one thing that came to mind when reading your post was regarding the shaking of your hands. Don't know if you already thought of this or not, but the shaking of the hands might be a way of distracting you from any negative thoughts currently in the mind by putting attention on the feeling of your hands and the sensation they are physically feeling. Drawing your thoughts to a more physical and grounded state of mind, freeing up your mind to have creative and more positive thoughts.
One thing you might be able to try is changing the physical sensation you use to something more visually appealing to others, you could try out various different physical techniques associated with meditation and anything else that comes to mind, and see if with practice you can shift to something else.
It sounds to me like it might be an intense form of concentration and imagination/ meditation. There's nothing wrong with being able to do that, it is a gift you acquired though hardship. Many people have to try very hard to do what you can do. Something else that might help is doing daily meditation for 5-15 minutes, which has been proven to help change the brain positively. I attached an article that might help.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/16/op...anted=all&_r=0

Please let me know your thoughts PsychSearcher0, and what you have tried/ not tried.