Christmas is a tough time. 6 hours is a good effort! And I have to say, you are doing well keeping employed with a mental illness, who cares if it is low wage - as you said it is better than no income and it keeps you busy. I think you have done very well to cope this year and need to take some time to see what you do right. Unfortunately treatment is rarely fast, but hang in there - it does get better.

I ruminate about family events too, I usually cant stay more than 3 hours or so. Yesterday at my dads birthday I had to leave before the cake, I felt so guilty and feel like a terrible daughter but I had to get out of there before my mood dropped. As it was I spent the rest of the day ruminating about what I said at the party and beating myself up for not staying longer although the rumination would have been worse had I stayed any longer. I am ok today (thanks coping skills) but I get a niggle of guilt that tries to drag me down about every half an hour.