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sunrise said:
Hi Story. Welcome to the psychotherapy forum on PC.
How long have you been seeing this therapist? Do you have a good alliance and are able to trust her? From what you wrote, she sounds very pushy and directive to me.
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Well, I've been seeing her now for probably 2 or 3 months. The whole idea of doing a timeline though was my own plan to see if I/we could identify negative patterns, impulse control issues, etc. in order to hopefully see in the future when something like that is occurring and kind of nip it in the bud. She seems directive to me also though in a way I can't really pinpoint. For instance, we were talking about how I got spankings as a kid, and she was saying how that was "physical abuse", well excuse me but a LOT of kids get spankings and turn out just fine and in my personal opinion as I told her it is far different from "physical abuse". I also told her about getting a whack, you know, in elemetary school from a teacher. She said that also is physically abusive. No, I argued, if half the damn kids in school nowadays got their asses hit with a board, you wouldn't see the crap you see in the classrooms. Again, just my opinion to which she brushed off as "Well if you were raised with that sort of physical punishment then that's what you think is ok." - -- So that bothers me too.
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Is it really relevant what she wants? What do
you want to do at your next session? Why is she being so directive? I'm also finding it odd that your therapist thinks she can cover 10 years at each session. That is a lot of territory!
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Yes, I know it IS a lot to cover in any one session and I already told her that the time in my life from about age 12 to age 20 will take 3 or 4 or more sessions, to which she agreed. Again, understand that the timeline idea was mine.I just meant to say that for the next session, she would like me to have sort of an outline of the next ten years so we can begin to work on that - but I think the first ten years aren't done being worked on if we have this obstacle of her "something indicates sexual abuse" to get over.
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Why do you want to talk to someone where she works? Are you seeking to report her for incompetency? Or are you hoping you can get switched to another therapist but remain at this same clinic? What is the role of a case manager? Is that person a mental health professional? Would he/she give you advice on whether to drop this therapist or not? Since you are on meds, does that mean you have a psychiatrist in addition to your therapist? Could you share your concerns about your therapist with your psychiatrist and get some advice? Sorry for so many questions!
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I guess the case manager would be the best person to start with so far as discussing how the therapist's comments made me very uneasy. Actually, I'm not sure about the case manager's credentials but I'm sure she has at least a social work type degree. Her function is that she comes out to my house and I don't know, I guess acts as a liason to whatever I need, like agencies etc, and she's gone in to my appointments with the psych doc also. Meh, I'm kind of pissed off at her right now because she's not performing the way I feel she should. Yes, I do have a psychiatrist at this clinic but no, I wouldn't talk to him about the therapist because first of all he's just eh.... on a personality scale of 1-10, he's about a 1.5 you know? Very dry, unenthused, bland. Supposedly "he knows his medications!" so whatever. Funny that he does and yet both things he's put me on aren't working at all. Secondly, he'd just say "Well if you feel you need to change to a different therapist, you certainly have that option," which sets it squarely back in my lap.
What you have to realize here also, is that I'm kind of in a limited choice situation. This place I go to is sort of the only place around here that will see people who have no insurance, which for now includes me. Beggars as they say can't be choosers.
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This statement sounds like you don't really trust her, so it might be premature for you to reveal such important events from your past. If you and your T do continue to see each other, do you think it would help to work on your alliance first, so you could get to the point of feeling comfortable enough to share such important stuff?
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That's what I was left thinking after I left session the other day. I thought, wow, if she suggests sexual abuse after one hour and minmal highlights of my childhood up to age 10, maybe I shouldn't even continue with the rest of it - and truthfully in some ways, I'm scared to pick at that scab you know? But I want to, I really do. I want to spill out how my life overall has been nothing but one stressful thing after another, maybe to substantiate how I am now, or maybe to find some resolution/solution. Still, I need someone I can trust to LISTEN and not to just blurt out that A may indicate B, right? I guess my point is, maybe it's not a bad thing that she think it to herself, but I don't think it was really appropriate to overtly suggest it to me so early in the game. Given that she did, now I'm thinking that she is predisposed to believing this when I am adamant that it did NOT happen in any way. So I guess to me now it feels like I'd be swimming upstream in therapy and it's supposed to be cathartic and GOOD for me, not worrysome and a case of me second guessing everything I say for fear of how she will interpret it, and I know very well that's what I'll be doing now.
Thanks for your support and commentary.