You can always get another pool pass.

If the turmoil all became too much for you, and you just want to have peace in the house, then that is your right to make the decision to do what you need to for there to be peace. Just own it. Don't blame your mother for your decisions. Your mother doesn't have the power to force anything on you. There is a certificate of registration in the glove compartment of the car. If your name is on it, then you are the owner of the car.

You are trying to talk your mom into becoming the kind of mother that you wish she was . . . and threatening to never forgive her for not being that. She is who she is and that's probably all she knows how to be.

Basically, you and your mother are each other's significant other. That is the reality of it. You care very much about preserving your relationship with her . . . even more than becoming independent. You have a right to make that choice. Just own it.