If this is not already apparent, from other Threads I've posted in this forum, I feel incredibly embarrassed to be transgender. I don't really know why. I presume it has to do with my upbringing & the kinds of views that were prevalent at the time. Every little thing I do to try to assuage my "transgender imperative", so to speak, feels like a huge hurdle. And once I've done it, the self-consciousness over it doesn't seem to go away. It just seems to follow me around like a shadow.

I keep trying not to let my embarrassment overpower me. But it's an ongoing struggle. I wish I could be free to just do what I want... what I feel like I need to do... but there are expectations... and assumptions... there are boundary lines across which one must not tread. There are IED's planted alongside the pathways. Put your foot down in the wrong spot and KaBOOM!!!

Oh well... nothing to be done about it... That's just the way it is...