For the past years I have gone into hypomania/mania in december, and x-mas and new-years were therefore truly amazing (for obvious reasons, he he...) But this year I am in a depressed periode, and now I just hate the thought of pretending to be happy. People are used to me being chatty and extrovert and doing all kinds of antics. So I feel like I have to be that ALL of the time, to satisfy their need to see me like that...