I know this is really childish. I am really jealous of people who are rich, who have trust funds, who are famous, or who otherwise never have to work.
I wake up tossing and turning or in a sweat some nights because of the anxiety I feel about working every day for the next 45 years. It's gotten increasingly bad at night, where I'm waking up about 4 times throughout the night just thinking about work or college or coworkers or customers or money.
I had a conversation with someone a few days ago who said "Haha I will never have to work, my dad owns 3 factories and when he passes away I will inherit them. He will probably just give me an easy position with a great salary until that time comes anyway."
I came across a website that listed a celebrity's net worth of 140 million dollars.
I have a friend who is a trust fund baby living in Santa Monica in a mansion.
I know someone close to me who never has to work a day in her life because she won the jackpot, literally.
All these things are just huge reminders that I'll be slaving away in a job for years to come and they won't have to.
I don't know how to just get over this. I want to strike gold or something but I know that's unrealistic. I just have so much anxiety, more so than the average person it seems like, and its almost crippling.
I often imagine how much easier my life would be if I were sitting on a couple million and that life is so drastically different than the life I'm living now.
How can I get over this and stop being so jealous, or wishing for other people's success?
I come from generations of working class family members. My dad was an electrician and my mom was an office manager. They both worked hard jobs their entire lives from being a cashier at a grocery store, to being a bank teller, to a busser, to a secretary until they landed higher paying careers. The thought of just trying to survive paycheck to paycheck really scares me. Or not knowing where life will take me as far as jobs are concerned...or not knowing what I really want to do.
My grandma was a waitress for her entire life. My grandpa was a mechanic. My aunt is a teacher. My uncle is a truck driver. My boyfriend is a cop. I have no idea what I want to do and this keeps me up at night. I'm also really shy and get intimidated by people easily.