Ok I'm sorry I caved into being completely negative. I know I shouldn't do that.
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Thank you for your suggestion kaliope. I do have a lot of things I am good at. I won't deny them, but I also don't like to tell people because it seems very arrogant. I instead prefer to do things on my own and let others decide for themselves whether they think I'm good at something or not.

I really could list all I am good at. But I am a bit confused how that will help me. I can tell myself I am good at A, but it doesn't seem to compensate for me not being good at B. For example, what good does being an awesome badminton player do when I am a bad friend because I act inappropriately towards friends or significant others? It's like trying to compare apples to oranges.

I know I posted this under the self-esteem thread, but now that I think about it, I am not insecure about my strengths. I just don't like to acknowledge them when talking to other people unless they point it out.

I may just be too much of a perfectionist. If I don't feel like I am at A+ all the time, would that be considered having low self-esteem?
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Thank you for your post Alison. I do think I have depression. I have not been formally diagnosed, but I am well aware that it is a real thing. Many of the people surrounding me (e.g. my parents, my coworkers) believe that as long as I go hang out with friends, I will be happier. I do think that is a valid point. But I also find it extremely hard to unwind near my friends. I was spending the night with all the girls when I posted this thread because I felt frustrated that I couldn't express how I was feeling. I didn't want it turning into a pity party if I said anything about how sad I felt. I also have been struggling for over a year now, and they may be bored of listening to the same problems when I have made no progress.

I don't want things to be all about me. It makes me uncomfortable. But I also feel like I could disappear without anyone noticing, and that it's something I set myself up for. Obviously if I don't want to be the center of attention, then I will act unnoticeable, and people won't notice me. Seems self-defeating enough.

It feels selfish to ask for attention. I don't like being selfish. Therefore I don't ask for attention. But I think I want attention. So would that make me a hypocrite if I told people I am not selfish, but received attention?

I am an introvert. I am comfortable being alone. And yet, I feel sad when people don't include me. But if I act unnoticeable, then how was I supposed to be invited to join my office's white elephant exchange?

I am my own barrier.

Therefore, I conclude that my depression is my own fault.