i think they are caused from pain that i have had in the past. my mom isnt a big help in my life she was yelling at me to get off my *** and do stuf myself when i just got out of surgery. and she constantly puts me down. i think the fighting is from the past my training is to react without thinking. and the killing is from something that happened overseas that i relive in my dreams. these are all thinks that subcouncely are thinking about. and i have a horrible support system in place. my family all shun me because im diffrent and have mental problems. i cant make friends becuase they all make me mad becuase they are civilian and do not act they way a responsible person would act. and just little thinks piss me off like people being late or blowing me off my mom is constantly 10 minutes late for everything and you should be 15 minutes early to everything. you shouldnt make people wait on you. you should be the one waiting on other people. and i had a horrible past ever since 2009 i am a totatly diffrent person. i have had two tbi's since then and i have problems rememberin things which people dont believe they just think that i am forgeting about what they are saying. it pisses me off because i hostely can not remember. i have two years of college and im not an idiot but i had to stop because i could not remember things.