Quote:
Originally Posted by Claritytoo
One of our alters suggested during session that we pick a host. In the past no has wanted the responsibility or the amount of work involved. We do have someone who can be in the world, is kind, is smart, and a good problem solver. I don't think she can physically protect herself from danger, we are not sure if she can get to know all of us. Most of like when she is out because she has a calming way about her. I don't know if she drives. Has anyone here asked a particular alter to be the host? If she says no it's ok. She wouldn't be in trouble. But how would she know what a host does? My t said it would help us to have one alter who new the system and all the parts in stead of groups were not everyone knows everyone. Although I am not going to want to know the others I think I would be ok talking to a host who knows the others. This all sounds like a convoluted mess but I would be interested in anything anyone has to say.
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I know many people with DID who have chosen a head honcho/one in charge/ the gate keeper/ the boss/ the captain of the ship....
these are alters who are basically the leaders, the one that makes the decisions for all, the one who takes care of everyone...
but here in NY choosing a "host" is not possible. here host designates the physical body in which everyone resides with in. here it is believed in order for someone to be host the alters alters must reside with in... the one who is "host"
example...
if rainy became the host then thelma. Sunny, amanda would all live with in the physical body of Rainy. Since Rainy was an alter not the physical body thelma, Sunny, amanda cant reside inside of Rainy because Rainy is an alternate personality.
where as Amanda (me the physical body person) was the host (person in which the alters resided with in, and the others Rainy thelma and sunny were the alters that resided with in me (amanda)
think of it like an orange. an orange has the skin in which all the parts are inside.
theres the physical body and then theres the alters living inside one body.
thats not saying you still cant do what you want to do (have one main one in charge/control) you can do that, dissociated people normally do have someone with in their internal system of alters that does the main protecting/care taking/ decision making. but in psychological terms they are not called host here in NY. here they are called by many different names like...protectors, gate keepers, the captain, the boss...what ever fits that persons internal system of alters.