I want to be able to do something well, but I can't, or don't seem to be able to. I thought of writing a poem today but it wouldn't work. I feel like an idiot. Because it feels like I can't write or do math or science or whatever else, I am just down. Bad. Not good. And plus, having thoughts of people hurting me or in a big conspiracy to kill me is also confusing. Why am I having these thoughts? Are they real? Why can't I tell?

I just cannot express how inadequate and confused I feel right now.