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Originally Posted by Whinnie41
Hi all! I had a revelation the other day as I sat wondering why I can't control my emotions, anger, eating, anything... and researched "mood swings." It wasn't long before I came across BPD and realized...that has been me my whole life. I'm in my mid 30s now and every line I read was like taking scenes from sections of my life. I go on Monday to see if I actually have this...but I'm pretty sure I do. Took an online test and got "severe BPD" but obviously I wouldn't be functioning as well as I am if I were truly severe right? For so long, I tried to change and help myself....become a "better" person, be more calm and understanding to no avail. I felt like a complete failure until a few days ago. I'm hopeful that I can get treatment and live a semi-normal life if I work hard at trying to get better or manage it. I'm also excited to connect with others that face the same struggles as I have... After feeling so alone, I'm glad there is a network to discuss struggles with this. What have you experienced?
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Hi there, I'm surprised that you didn't get more responses.
Anyway, welcome to the forum ! Yes, not to worry, there are plenty of very compassionate and interesting people here whom you're going to meet.
I wouldn't rely on the results of just one test. I, personally, did a lot of research before I was convinced of my own diagnosis. Documentaries, autobiographies, other kinds of books, the DSM, etc, etc, etc. I'm male, 31, and after 18 years of suffering, I'm finally starting to see improvement.
It's good that you're seeing a mental health professional. That's a good place to start, though, note that they may refuse to diagnose you with BPD, which (I think) doesn't necessarily mean you don't have it. For insurance reasons, doctors don't like to diagnose BPD.
Anyway, please know that recovery is absolutely possible ... you have to be willing to put in a lot of work. For some people, therapy helps ... for me, it didn't, but I was able to help myself through a lot of hard contemplation and reflection and countless failures.
Welcome, again, and feel free to PM me with any questions or anything else really !