In answer to the OP, I guess you could say I'm comfortable with my low self-esteem. It's been so long since I was confident in myself and felt good about myself that I don't know anything else or what it would be like. Like having a perpetual headache for years and years; you don't even know you're sick. I'm talking easily 35 years. The first time I gave away my power ... I was maybe six or seven years old. That event just started the ball rolling and my self-esteem was never high.

I do all the things that people talk about to increase self-esteem, but they don't make me feel better about myself. I seriously don't know the answer to better self-esteem. It seems like I have to hide anything I do or accomplish from the world because it will get crushed.

One thing I am trying is completely changing how I write. No more listening to the experts on how to become a good writer, I'm actually going to do it backwards. That way there's nobody in my way any more.