Quote:
Originally Posted by amandalouise
I know many people with DID who have chosen a head honcho/one in charge/ the gate keeper/ the boss/ the captain of the ship....
these are alters who are basically the leaders, the one that makes the decisions for all, the one who takes care of everyone...
but here in NY choosing a "host" is not possible. here host designates the physical body in which everyone resides with in. here it is believed in order for someone to be host the alters alters must reside with in... the one who is "host"
example...
if rainy became the host then thelma. Sunny, amanda would all live with in the physical body of Rainy. Since Rainy was an alter not the physical body thelma, Sunny, amanda cant reside inside of Rainy because Rainy is an alternate personality.
where as Amanda (me the physical body person) was the host (person in which the alters resided with in, and the others Rainy thelma and sunny were the alters that resided with in me (amanda)
think of it like an orange. an orange has the skin in which all the parts are inside.
theres the physical body and then theres the alters living inside one body.
thats not saying you still cant do what you want to do (have one main one in charge/control) you can do that, dissociated people normally do have someone with in their internal system of alters that does the main protecting/care taking/ decision making. but in psychological terms they are not called host here in NY. here they are called by many different names like...protectors, gate keepers, the captain, the boss...what ever fits that persons internal system of alters.
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I have no intention of having a "head honcho/one in charge/ the gate keeper/ the boss/ the captain of the ship...." My gate keepers have their own specific tasks within the system. And the rest of what you have said makes no sense to me. I am not looking for a "boss" I am looking for someone who can be the voice of reason. My parts will always have the ability to do mostly what ever they want. There are two who are in the world who do have the final say in situations that might turn bad. They keep us out of the hospital and jail. And they keep us employed when we are employed. But they don't deal with the everyday stuff. The questions, disagreements, arguments, confusion, fear, anger, (except when we are about to explode). So right now we stay in our groups and often don't know what the other group is doing. We have a part who will try to get the information if asked, only most times we aren't aware we need to ask until someone says something that we did or are supposed to know. Most times I barely remember what I did the day before. I thank you for your input but it is not what I am looking for. No boss, just someone who will get to know everyone, get to know what each group is doing and maybe be able to get us to learn about each other.